when we were young…

writing with passion, living with vision and acting with intention

Toddler says NO!

9 Comments

I remember back when Shae was a newborn, someone telling me that it (being a parent) was easy right now and that it got harder the older they got. “Um, what part about getting more sleep is harder?” was all I could think.

I was right about that part, sleeping is better than in the early days with Shae.

But he’s two now. He’s stubborn. He wants things a certain way and he wants them five minutes ago already! And as for sleep, yeah he sleeps, only takes like an hour to get him to surrender to drowsy eyelids.

And then there’s the whole bit about molding and shaping this spirited toddler, guiding him, teaching him, disciplining him…

Shae loves his brother, he’s very inclusive with him, protective and also likes to treat him like a pillow which he hurls himself on top of. Over and over, we tell him, “Shae, that hurts your brother; that is not kind; no push; gentle; say sorry, Oliver.” There’s just never any sign of acknowledgement from him that he understands he did something wrong – other than avoiding eye contact and refusing to apologize. The same goes for when he throws a fit because we won’t give him something he wants. Wailing, flailing, flat on the floor toddler commences.

How much can we do to show him how to treat his brother better and to place repercussions from bad behaviour that will make sense for his two-year-old brain? At this point, time outs don’t seem to be doing much except delay everything else in our day as we go back and forth to and from his room. Removing him from a situation seems to be the most effective but doesn’t prevent a future incident.

Is it just a matter of time? Are there more effective ways of communicating with a toddler? What do you do???

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Author: whenwewereyoung...

A stay at home mom of two boys under two, love TED talks, swing dancing and of course, writing. When we were young is my sharing of motherhood, the beautiful, the ugly, the happy, the sad and the world my boys are growing up in.

9 thoughts on “Toddler says NO!

  1. You are at a tricky stage. Shae fighting naps is completely normal, and an hour isn’t so bad actually. As for him understanding his actions, if time-outs aren’t working, trying reasoning with him logically. Or use the privileges and consequences system. He might be feeling left out or jealous of his younger brother. You know your child best, and I know you will find a method that works best for you. ❤

  2. I wish I knew the answer. 🙂 That isn’t much help is it? We have found soap in the mouth works good for disrespectful talk and mean words. And for disobedience a warning of the consequences and then follow through. It depends on the incident on the consequences. A good couple for Seth are taking away his Narnia movies and all his swords and Batman things.

    • Yes, I suppose you just have to keep trying this and that and see what works. It just feels sometimes like it’s still not enough and you start thinking how you might have a little hell raiser on your hands if you can’t figure it out! I think he’s not quite understanding the consequences tactic just yet but I am working on it as I think that will be the most successful form of discipline. Thanks for your suggestions!

  3. We are in the exact same boat except for us it’s C’s little sister that he likes to dive bomb and push. We do time outs, consequences, distraction and none of it seems to be making much of a real impact AT ALL. I just chant “This too will pass” in my head and make sure there is a glass of wine ready ASAP after he’s finally down:)

  4. I’m so thankful for the age gap between my two – no dive bombs here. Time outs worked really well when my oldest was in the middle of terrible twos and I just today read something that was interesting – if you are playing with a toy or physical object when the incident happens, put the toy “in jail” where they can see it but can’t have it so it reminds them of what they’re missing out on. At this age, its a lot of out of sight, out of mind so it’s not a helpful discipline to take something away and they can’t see it. Something to try maybe?

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