when we were young…

writing with passion, living with vision and acting with intention

The gift of transient friendships

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As a little child, I understood that friendship should be a permanent thing. We are friends now and forever shall be.

Into my teens, best friends came in and out of my life. That process of redefining the place of friends in my life has shaped how I view friendship now as an adult.

I know many people who have their life-long friends whom they have been close with since the beginning. I always longed for that but the continuous eb and flow of who was/were my best friends has predominated. It’s not to say that I don’t still stay in touch with some long-time friends but the season of close comradery has since passed.

I once considered this a shortcoming; I now see it as a gift.

I am a very open person – it doesn’t take years for friends to see me for who I am at the core of my being: faults, ticks and quirks. I embrace diversity in the people whom I draw close. For that reason, ‘best friends’ is a relative term. My best friend two years ago is not the same one from five years ago. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to invest time into building a bond with many different people, even though there eventually comes a day, a chapter of life where paths diverge and even goodbyes are said.

Living where I do, in a small coastal community, I have already said goodbye (not always in a permanent sense) to several dear friends who have moved away.

Very soon, I will again say goodbye again to two very beautiful women in my life as they move also.  I honestly don’t know when I will see them next as they are moving a good distance away. I wish they could stay near – that our children could grow up together, that our friendships would deepen and we would build a history and the ease that long-time friendship provides.

At the same time, I feel so richly blessed to have had these woman in my life these past three years. They have encouraged and inspired me as a parent, as a partner to my husband and as a woman in a world of people needing love at every turn. I can honestly say that their friendship has left a permanent imprint on the woman I am continuing to grow and be.

It brings tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat to think about the day that I won’t be able to text or call to invite them over or make plans. But I know that if I had my go-to, long-time established “besties,” I might not have had the time or need to open my heart and benefit from the time spent sharing the daily routines, challenges, philosophies, joys, and ironies of our days.

The world is brimming with so many beautiful souls – I am a happier person for every one who has imparted to me their best. As the door opens wide for new friendships, I carry along the long lasting impressions of women who have touched my life.

brothers, friendship, always, love, together

 

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Author: whenwewereyoung...

A stay at home mom of two boys under two, love TED talks, swing dancing and of course, writing. When we were young is my sharing of motherhood, the beautiful, the ugly, the happy, the sad and the world my boys are growing up in.

One thought on “The gift of transient friendships

  1. Beautifully written. I think that it is a turning point when we can cherish our friendships and love the people in our lives and still understand that it is ok for some to drift in and out. Its not a bad thing and doesn’t mean anyone did anything wrong, it just wasn’t meant to be forever.

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