when we were young…

writing with passion, living with vision and acting with intention


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39 minutes and we had our girl!

Bronwyn Anayah Bowen – you are here.

Your middle name is Hebrew for ‘God has answered.’

I always had dreams of having a little girl one day – to dress up, to braid hair, to indulge in all things girly. Bronwyn, you have been in my heart for a long time – I feel as though I have been holding my breath. Even when the ultrasound technician gave me the joyful news, I held my breath. I wasn’t entirely sure I would be allowed to keep you.

The dreams started to build again after that ultrasound appointment. The anticipation was familiar but it didn’t come without a reminder that the sweetest of dreams can be overturned. And so I held my breath a little, bracing for heartache of some kind until the day you came flying out.

I’m kinda serious, 39 minutes of labour and two pushes and you were out!

You yelled for the first hour – our nurse said you were less than thrilled about your speedy eviction notice. But to me, your yells were a welcome sound of your hearty lungs proclaiming that you were here – alive and well!

I had gone in on your due date for a sweep – your head had been sitting between my legs already for a couple weeks and the past week, I had felt like you could drop out with a sneeze. As the doctor examined me, her eyes widened and she told me I was already five centimetres dilated and fully effaced!

Eager to keep that action going, I went home and got my Banghra dance on (you can thank your Auntie Amanda for that idea). Your Nanny B and Papa came over that night as we anticipated labour pains. But they didn’t come. I was having mild Braxton Hicks contractions but I had been having those all week (guess we know how I got to five centimetres!). I was texting my doctor to update her and she urged us to come to the hospital since the contractions were regular even though mild.

We hung out there for an hour, chatting with Dr. Sivakova and Kat (our nurse). Still nothing. The doctor decided to get things going by popping my water since you were basically ready to drop out but not really in a hurry.

And labour officially commenced at 1 a.m..

Your dad searched Youtube for a favourite Celtic singer to accompany the Frankincense I had diffusing in the room. He came up with the eery soundtrack for Lord of the Rings. As he looked for something less brooding and more relaxing, an attack ad against Stephen Harper broke through my focus on a particularly intense contraction. Everyone’s eyes widened and flicked over to Jesse at the mention of Canada’s most hated prime minister. That ended Jesse’s Youtube search for tranquil Celtic music.

I have always been a big believer in a woman’s ability to manage her pain during labour, to embrace the entirety of what her body is doing. Such an empowering thought until you’re actually feeling each intense wave of pain and you feel your body tense up, resisting it.

But that’s what was different this time – instead of trying to suppress the pain and minimize it, I began to allow each contraction to fully unravel. It is hard to describe but as I continued to do this, something oddly amazing happened. In the last few contractions before I pushed, I felt your head pass down until you were crowning. I waited for my pain level to go through the roof with the next contraction but strangely, it was rather subdued. I knew you were coming very soon and was grateful for a chance to collect my strength. Another mighty contraction and my doctor urged me to push. I reminded myself that I was not going to push my tail bone out as I felt I might and repeated “small head, small head” to myself (thank God you did have a small head…). And with the second and final push, you were out!

My biggest baby, still tiny at 6 lb. 9 oz., born August 13th, 2015 at 1:39 a.m..

Freshie, new baby, fast delivery

big brothers, meet and greet

I’m fairly certain that I was the happiest I have ever been in my life with those first few minutes of my boys meeting their baby sister for the first time. They were beyond excited and exuded a sweetness I had never seen before.

My family together, complete.

Shaely Rose, I know you shared the moment with us. My heart has cried for the dreams that would never be with you. I actually worried that I might not be capable of ever bringing a little girl safely into the world. I still cannot quite believe that I have been gifted with another little girl. God has answered…

I have been blessed with four little souls in as many years. My heart is full – each of my children has shown me truths of living fully and abundantly. What will our little Bronwyn show us next I wonder?

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A recap of summer

Summer was great. July, as you all remember, was sun, sun, sun all day and everyday, we were outside in our backyard that must be enormous to Shae. He got a pool from his Nanny B and I think this is one of the best shots showing my little man enjoying it.

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Now and then, a friend would join him.

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We also had some success with our garden this year including a few pounds of potatoes, tons of tomatoes, a bowl of peas, lettuce, a few eggplants and even a couple jalepeno peppers. We also had strawberries but Shae just couldn’t wait for any of them to turn red.

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And there were many naked days for one happy little boy…

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And a few for this one too

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Shae got his first haircut this summer too

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August was visiting and weddings month! Oliver and Shae got to meet their Uncle Tony who came out for a visit from Montreal with Uncle Allen.

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Craft time at our house resulted in a rather charred, caveman era looking hands mold, cute nonetheless.IMG_3567 IMG_3574

Oh and can’t forget Shae’s first ride on a horse!

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Or all six brothers back together again!

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Some highlights to bring you up to speed.

On to fall


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Prologue

I like to write to sort my thoughts out which is why I started my blog, mootable. I haven’t given much thought to a journal type blog that details my day to day meanderings and what’s going down in my house with two boys literally under two! Until today when I read a friend’s blog and thought about what a treasure it will be for her to look back on days past as a mom to two little girls and wife to her husband. There is so much each day that is worth remembering but where many memories fade, words bring back the days when we were young.

So with that, I dedicate this blog to the stories and memories of my days with my boys. Amidst the craziness of keeping up with it all, I hold these days close to my heart in a way that grows a lump in my throat when they will be past.

To the tales of joy, frustration, inspiration, boredom, triumphs, struggles, the exciting and the mundane.

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